I find beauty in laugh wrinkles.
My daughters sleepy cheeks.
My hunny's eyes, a dark brown with hints of hazel.
His eyelashes...
I find beauty in my stretch marks and a growing belly.
I find beauty in my son's laughter.
I find beauty in the sky and green leaves
in the love story of a homeless couple I met
Dave and Lynette
Beauty lies in the lovers eye
it lives in the moments spent
in silence
when touch
and the breath
speaks immeasurable words
without a sound
beauty lies in sincerity
in the inability to be vain
or cruel
it swims in the soul
of those who truly care
who truly love
who truly feel....
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
It's a Boy!!!
Micah Jose Israel
I cant wait to meet my little boy on September 13, 2011.
We found out it was a boy on 4/26/11.
I was hoping to be surprised but Daddy wanted to know, so we did what was fair, and we flipped for it. Tails he won. Over and over and over, and the sweetheart even tried to give me best out of three, then best out of five, then even one last try! It was sweet of him but I knew, I lost fair and square.
Fate wanted us to know! Which is a good thing because I was so sure of it being a girl that I bought girl clothes and everything and well, I sure was wrong!
I cant wait to meet my sweet little baby boy!
We are trying to figure out wedding plans, do we do it in Hawaii before baby comes? Or after baby comes?? Hmmmmmmm
Well since I have been approved for 3 months off of work, I am starting to think we should go to Hawaii and get married during my last month of leave, that way we can stay a while:)
I cant wait to meet my little boy on September 13, 2011.
We found out it was a boy on 4/26/11.
I was hoping to be surprised but Daddy wanted to know, so we did what was fair, and we flipped for it. Tails he won. Over and over and over, and the sweetheart even tried to give me best out of three, then best out of five, then even one last try! It was sweet of him but I knew, I lost fair and square.
Fate wanted us to know! Which is a good thing because I was so sure of it being a girl that I bought girl clothes and everything and well, I sure was wrong!
I cant wait to meet my sweet little baby boy!
We are trying to figure out wedding plans, do we do it in Hawaii before baby comes? Or after baby comes?? Hmmmmmmm
Well since I have been approved for 3 months off of work, I am starting to think we should go to Hawaii and get married during my last month of leave, that way we can stay a while:)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
life.....
It seems like just yesterday when Elijah was 3. Now my boy is almost 17 and going to be a Dad.At first, when Elijah hesitantly, shared the news with me. I was angry, I was sad, I was disappointed, and scared. I was worried that my son was signing up for a life of difficulty, struggle, and trials no young man should endure before seeing the world, taking in the beauty of distant lands and loves.
I just wanted so much more for him.
But as you know, I too, fell in puppy love at 12 and was 16 when we found out I was pregnant. We had our son, Elijah, at 17. One choice that I did not want to pass down to my own children was the choice to become a very young parent.
Because even though I was a good Mother, I should have waited, until we were both much more mature. We were just so sure that our life was perfect, and that we would provide a perfect upbringing for our son, and the world seemed like it would bend to our will. But we struggled, and had to juggle parenting with self discovery and that, my friends, is why we should have waited.
We are different people at 17 than we are at 20, or 25, or 30 and our patience and wisdom, grows with age and our children deserve to have adults as parents, not children, as parents, children that are still learning soo much about the essentials of life...
However,
when I told my parents, I was not met with anger, I was met with support, and love. When we told his parents, we were not scolded or yelled at, we were met with even more support and love.
So my reaction to my son's news didn't reflect that... I yelled, cried,probably scared Elijah half to death, and felt sick for days. It was fear...
All I wanted, was for him to live, see the world, and have countless adventures before being tied down by family.
I wanted him to be free and able to do as he pleased without the heavy worries of life's big responsibilities, at 17, or worrying about having a sitter so he can finish school, or take a test, or work his first job. So on and so forth my mind was reeling with confusion and worry....
I was heart broken, almost the point of utter denial. I never spoke of it to anyone but my children or Rico, plus since I am pregnant too, I just kept thinking of how life was about to go spinning out of control for all of us and the life I have always considered light, happy and blessed was going to take a hard turn.
But time passed, and I lifted my hands to God and prayed daily, to give me strength to help see my son through this. He is terrified, and worried that he now has a hopeless future, probably because of how he was met with anger and sadness when he told us they were having a child.
I realized, now is the time to strengthen that backbone of mine, and test the courage, optimism, and strength I have always believe to be born into my soul, and be supportive of my son and their decision to have a baby.
God comforted me, and gave me back that strength and understanding and the ability to give my son hope, and support even if I do not agree with the decision, I will be loving and supportive of my son and any decision he makes.
I now, paint my babies room, knowing that it will be a room for two adorable little baby boys and I will LOVE, adore and treat Elijah's son, as my own, and I will hear the laughter and tears of those two boys and I won't even know what life was like, nor will I remember the day I was
saddened by the news of the arrival of my first grandson.
Because at that point all he will bring to my world is happiness.
I don't care about what anyone thinks, I care about what Elijah thinks. Of his future, and his goals, and what he can accomplish despite being a young Father. I care that he sees just as bright and full of a future as anyone else. I don't want him to lose faith or hope so I have to remind him that this will be a challenge
but that he can still accomplish ANYTHING he can dream up in that
peanut head of his:)
I can't wait to meet the little guy, and he already has a built in best-friend in my belly-baby, Micah:) Just like Elijah had his Rickey.
I might be one young Lola, but I am ready
Thanks for reading, as our family is growing, I am seeing my role morph and change and every part of that feels like a blessing even the little suprises:)
I just wanted so much more for him.
But as you know, I too, fell in puppy love at 12 and was 16 when we found out I was pregnant. We had our son, Elijah, at 17. One choice that I did not want to pass down to my own children was the choice to become a very young parent.
Because even though I was a good Mother, I should have waited, until we were both much more mature. We were just so sure that our life was perfect, and that we would provide a perfect upbringing for our son, and the world seemed like it would bend to our will. But we struggled, and had to juggle parenting with self discovery and that, my friends, is why we should have waited.
We are different people at 17 than we are at 20, or 25, or 30 and our patience and wisdom, grows with age and our children deserve to have adults as parents, not children, as parents, children that are still learning soo much about the essentials of life...
However,
when I told my parents, I was not met with anger, I was met with support, and love. When we told his parents, we were not scolded or yelled at, we were met with even more support and love.
So my reaction to my son's news didn't reflect that... I yelled, cried,probably scared Elijah half to death, and felt sick for days. It was fear...
All I wanted, was for him to live, see the world, and have countless adventures before being tied down by family.
I wanted him to be free and able to do as he pleased without the heavy worries of life's big responsibilities, at 17, or worrying about having a sitter so he can finish school, or take a test, or work his first job. So on and so forth my mind was reeling with confusion and worry....
I was heart broken, almost the point of utter denial. I never spoke of it to anyone but my children or Rico, plus since I am pregnant too, I just kept thinking of how life was about to go spinning out of control for all of us and the life I have always considered light, happy and blessed was going to take a hard turn.
But time passed, and I lifted my hands to God and prayed daily, to give me strength to help see my son through this. He is terrified, and worried that he now has a hopeless future, probably because of how he was met with anger and sadness when he told us they were having a child.
I realized, now is the time to strengthen that backbone of mine, and test the courage, optimism, and strength I have always believe to be born into my soul, and be supportive of my son and their decision to have a baby.
God comforted me, and gave me back that strength and understanding and the ability to give my son hope, and support even if I do not agree with the decision, I will be loving and supportive of my son and any decision he makes.
I now, paint my babies room, knowing that it will be a room for two adorable little baby boys and I will LOVE, adore and treat Elijah's son, as my own, and I will hear the laughter and tears of those two boys and I won't even know what life was like, nor will I remember the day I was
saddened by the news of the arrival of my first grandson.
Because at that point all he will bring to my world is happiness.
I don't care about what anyone thinks, I care about what Elijah thinks. Of his future, and his goals, and what he can accomplish despite being a young Father. I care that he sees just as bright and full of a future as anyone else. I don't want him to lose faith or hope so I have to remind him that this will be a challenge
but that he can still accomplish ANYTHING he can dream up in that
peanut head of his:)
I can't wait to meet the little guy, and he already has a built in best-friend in my belly-baby, Micah:) Just like Elijah had his Rickey.
I might be one young Lola, but I am ready
Thanks for reading, as our family is growing, I am seeing my role morph and change and every part of that feels like a blessing even the little suprises:)
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