Intentions

What is your intention today?

To be happy?

To be focused?

To be kind?

To be healthy?

To be a good daughter?

Friend?

Coworker?

Start each day with an intention and  hold yourself accountable for meeting your intention.

Today, my intention is - no negativity leaves my lips.

Swim im positive words and speak only to build and never to destroy.

Fashion Blog

I think I am going to start blogging about fashion for curvy thirties! I put soo much time into finding pieces that fit and work with my body type I might as well share the process incase anyone out there is interested:)

Why the heck not, I love fashion it is soo much fun! Maybe my first post will be tonight even:)

Dedicated to MY Giants

I had a conversation with a friend at work, regarding a movement of celebrating the "Giant's" in our lives who lifted us up over our obstacles and made drastic differences in the essence of all that we are.

These giants are friends, family, anyone who comes into our life and leaves us more elevated then when we first met them.

These are the people you know, have your best interest as their goal, and they are determined to celebrate your overcoming trials rather than celebrate your trials. People that remind you of your potential, and of your light and being.

Many times throughout my life, I wondered why I was so empowered, filled with strength, love and courage. I didn't understand why my spirit didn't match my circumstances.

I survived so much pain and in the midst of it, felt like something soo much bigger than the struggle, was meant for me, waiting for me.

I realize this is due to my GIANTS! OH and I have many:)


My Father the person who reminds me that laughter is key to happiness and that family comes first, always.
GOD for having big plans for me since day 1.
Leah - for always believing that I am so much bigger than I realize.
My Daughter Teihani - the one who thinks the world of me and makes me laugh, and inspires me to thrive to be a better person every day because she has the biggest heart I have ever seen in my life.
My Mom her kindness, her innocence and her story of survival and struggle
My Soul Sister Suzanne: For her listening ear, advice, and her voice of reason and strength
My Big Sister Thao: For being one I can tell any and everything to and who I can call at 4:10 in the morning and she will be there no matter what.
The Love of my Life- Rico: no matter what we struggle through he will always be the love of my life and the one who gets me.
Capoeira: it brought me through the passing of my ex, through sad days, through physical and health problems, it gave so much to our lives I will forever be indebted to Capoeira and they friends we met along the way.
Jason B: God's soldier who is like a Brother to me, who is always there when I need a listening ear or a person to pray with.
Elijah: Whos belief in what LOVE and Family is, inspires me everyday to be the glue that bonds my family together. Never have I met a young man soo vigilant for what FAMILY means, because he is deeply dedicated to his son and future wife.

To be continued.......

lovestrong

Embellished arms

ink stained skin

 kisses where your last name lies

my ears are yours for filling

with love      with words  

                                       with your air

wrapped in you

                                     in the early hours

when the sun first kisses the earth

I dream of

moments on beaches

that belonged to us
          
                              shoes sinking in wet sand

                     light blue

memories of laughing on
                       
                        cliffs

and dreaming into the tides

the world was ours

Your laughter fills my spirit and echos into my future

your smile is my dance

I know yours is

the
                       hand


           I will hold during my

                        last breath

Were gonna kick your ass!! (True Story)

Overheard in the hallways of the King County  Superior Court:

 

Plaintiff Counsel:  I don’t think you heard me, but my last demand is $250,000 or we will try this case.

Defense Counsel: Okay.

Plaintiff Counsel: No seriously, the jury is walking in and I am going to kick your ass.

Defense Counsel: Okay.

Plaintiff Counsel: No really, the jury is coming in and I am really serious about trying this case.

Defense Counsel: Okay.

Plaintiff Counsel: You must be stupid. The jury is walking in and my bottom line dollar is $100,000 or we will try this case.

Defense Counsel: Okay.

Plaintiff Counsel: I am really, really, really serious about this case. How about $5,000 or else we will try the case.

Defense Counsel: Okay.

Plaintiff Counsel: Now we are getting somewhere. I accept the $5,000.

Defense Counsel: No, I meant okay to trying the case.

Plaintiff Counsel: I don’t think you understand how serious we are about this case. The jury is here and I am going to kick not only your ass, but every ass in your law firm.  Give me your spare pocket change, and we get your 7^th round draft pick in next year’s draft of new lawyers.

Defense Counsel: Nope.

Plaintiff Counsel: Fine, we are dismissing your client and I am really serious about kicking your ass in the next case.

Who Am I?? By: Teihani Nataliah Cruz

                                    Who Am I?

I am Teihani Nataliah Cruz

Child of the free raging winds.

And deep glistening ocean.

Born and raised in Seattle by Wendy Cruz,

A beautiful Polynesian goddess and loving mother of three.

I am the granddaughter of Sandra Lee Kataoka.

An astoundingly resilient woman who will do everything in her power

To keep the people around her smiling.

I am the courageous older sibling of Micah Jose Israel

Who carries an intelligent soul that shines through his glowing smile,

And never fails to brighten my dull day.

My smiling cocoa eyes reflect the beaming hot sun

And my beautifully imperfect skin blends in with the tone of

Sun kissed caramel.

My curvy legs move to the beat of Brazilian drums

As words of wisdom escape my mind,

Quickly falling like the colorful leaves of fall.

I proudly stand at five feet tall,

With my head held so high I can look upon the

Rotating earth beneath me.

I am able to visibly imagine a brighter future

As I give every bit of strength into putting my dreams in action.

My vibrant senses instantly feel the pounding rhythm of my

Drumsticks

And the smooth touch of my fingers,

Spinning records that are guaranteed to keep the club live.

My mighty integrity is a trait passed down by my mother

And has never left my side throughout my existence.

The painful obstacles I’ve fought through in life

Have led me down the path to becoming the

Amazingly strong willed human I am today.

I live to watch the nature evolve around me

Along with the growth of myself and others.

I live for the freedom of speech,

And improvement of self-respect

Among teenagers just like me.

I live for my family, dreams,

And peace among the earth.

I was born a blessed child of god

With undiscovered powers that have been

Passed down through generations.

I am Teihani Nataliah Cruz.

Psychic at Ross (insert twilight zone music here)

After meeting my accountant at Barnes & Noble, we walked over to eat at California Pizza Kitchen, then on to Ross to pick up some birthday presents.

The girls ran off to try on clothes and Micah and I perused the toddler section.

As were looking at cute little boy shirts with super hero prints, and pastel plaid. A woman comes up to me and says she felt my energy from across the room and was wondering if she coudld share something with me about what she was sensing. Then she goes on to say:

" I get this feeling that you have given soo much of yourself to others that you keep very little for yourself.  I feel like you have experienced much pain but you walk tall and you smile and hide the pain you feel, almost all the time. You feel like your pain is a burden on others so you keep it to yoursel.  You dont trust people with your pain, you feel like it makes you vulnerable so you hide it so you can keep your power and strength.  I feel like you are not happy, like you used to be, and you feel numb, and the only happiness you find right now is in your children. I feel like you have lost you. You have tried many things to find happiness and those things didnt work and you very frustrated that you dont know how to meet your huge potential. I feel your calling is so much bigger than you can understand in this realm. I feel like this numbness is making you lose time, like it is flying by and you arent feeling anything.But that you find feeling, in the love of your children"

That wasnt verbatim, but it was close. and at first, I was ready to laugh at her attempt to con me out of money, but she didnt ask for money. BY the time she was done I felt like she hit a raw spot on my heart.

I HAVE been feeling VERY NUMB and I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me.

I have so much to FEEL about but some of it hurts and is scary so I march forward with my head high with this great pride in my ability to be numb. That it makes me stronger, not to feel. But I do feel, and at the core of it all I am not a tough numb person who can't be broken, I am soft and vulnerable, and lonely. I find my joy in my children, she WAS SOOO right about that. I find my joy in their laughter and love. Because I dont know where my joy went! Somewhere between San Francisco and here, my joy disappeared.

Dont get me wrong, I love my life I really do love every bit about it, but something is gone, something is missing I dont know what it is.

It might be something as simple as, I miss my Dad. I am so close to him, I HATE being soo far from him.And I am afraid something will happen to him.

It might be that for many years my daughter and were soo close we kept nothing from eachother and and she was my other half, two peas in a pod, twin spirits, and now she keeps things from me out of fear I will judge here, when she is my favorite human on this planet and could not would not judge her but would give her my honest opinion about whatever it is because I am her Mother.

It might be that my relationship that was once the most beautiful connection I have ever seen or witnessed in my life, went wrong somewhere and we folded under the pressure and stress of our lives and I can't understand why and I did everything in my power to save it. BUt we still love eachother madly, but can't figure out how to bring ourselves back to the center.

It could be that I am too wrapped up in my busy life that I dont have time to figure out why my happiness has slipped away.

I know it is not anyone elses job to bring me back my joy, NO one can give it back to me, only I can do that. I just have to figure out how.