Friday, June 3, 2011

Kind and Not-So-Kind Parenting

Parenting, done with yelling, impatience, anger, and frustration, is like watering a flower with vinegar and soda. COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE.

I try really hard not to say anything when I see people I know use this emotionally unhealthy parenting approach, without any understanding of their child's feelings. It literally hurts me to be around it and to see the confused hurt look on their children's faces! These people, are loving, kind, sweet people, to their friends. But with their children, they are impatient and out of control. Guess what that does to their children? Make them impatient and out of control! Then their parents wonder "why is my child like this?" Hmmm.. I wonder... Why can't some parents understand that the language their children speak, is more action based then it is WORD based. So you can sit their and talk and talk and talk and talk and criticize and preach all you can, all they hear, is the action and feeling behind your words. For instance, a 3 year old, is in the mall, exhausted, she is screaming and crying, because as a 3 year old, she is not capable of expressing it like this:" I am a bit fatigued, and would prefer to take a nap then go shopping" Umm. No.
She is 3
You have to READ her actions. If she is starting to cry and fuss and complain, does it help to say things like: "do you want other children to see you laughing and make fun of you??? Then STOP crying!!!" To the child, this just sounds cruel. Then there's the hit, "if you don't stop I am going to spank your butt" yeah genius, hit your exhausted crying child, that will help her calm right down!!! Why didn't I think of that?? Or how about I HIT YOU??? Will that calm YOU DOWN?
Try distracting your child, if you really must shop right that moment, you should have brought,a place for the child to rest, like a folding stroller, some snacks, some books or toys to occupy them, and be prepared to take a few minutes here and there to interact and calm your child. Sorry, I had to vent, I know several people that parent, by unnecessary screaming and yelling, and hitting, and their children, are mostly ill mannered and frustrated, and constantly acting up. WHEN WITH THAT PARENT. Leave that same child alone with me, and they are calm, happy and well behaved. Doesn't take a rocket scientist!! PARENTING TAKES PATIENCE COMMUNICATION AND THE ABILITY TO LEARN YOUR CHILD'S LANGUAGE!!!!!

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