20 lbs DOWN!! Woot Woot!!!!

Okay so, I am down 20 lbs, and 2-3 pant sizes!  There are a few parts that play a big role in my weight loss journey:

1. 10-30 minutes  a day of calisthenics (push ups, sit ups, etc.)
2. 10-60 minutes a day of cardio
3. Support of my friends on my fitness Facebook group called Fujitawellness- Bootycampers ( a group of people on the same journey as I am:) We motivate eachother and share information regarding fitness, health and nutrition. (TO DIE for paleo recipes!)
4. MYFITNESSPAL.COM !!!
5. Cellucor Super HD before my workouts
6. Eating as clean as I can (cutting down on processed foods)
7. Tons of water, 8 glasses a day at the very least!

This is me when I started the journey: 203 lbs

This is me about 10 weeks later at 183 lbs:

Chopped the hair off!

I have quite a way to go, BUT I have more energy, my knee hurts less, as well as my lower back! My middle is going waay down, and I have lost some boob (believe it or not lol) my bras are loose and I just invested a pretty penny in new bras, now I have to do it again!!! I am wearing a size 13/14 now, I was in a 16... My feet got a tad bit smaller, and my back rolls are waaaaay down too LOL.  I am loving this:) I feel better every day. My goal isnt a number though, I just want to keep going until I feel healthy!

OH and I havent touched a "social" cigarette for a month now:) LOVE LOVE LOVE all around:) This is gonna be gooooooooood:)

Just when I thought I was making some progress. And Cute video of Micah:)

One of the hardest parts of this journey, has been being able to accept the thought of the cochlear implant procedure on my son. It alone is enough to make me want to pass out as I have reflected on other posts.  Recently some friends got the cochlear implant for their daughter, and though I completely support and understand their decision for their child, I saw them at Children's hospital when I was there for an appointment, and I saw them on the day of their daughter's implant activation.  They were perfectly calm, and their daughter was fine, she had recovered really well
after surgery and was running around and happy and well
 just days after it. But  when I saw them, I talked to them, and was excited for them but as soon as I walked away, I had a panic attack. I was on the verge of tears and couldn't hold them back. Why does my heart break for these children, and more importantly, how am I going to be supportive of the decision for Micah, if I cant even handle someone else getting it? I thought I could open up more to the idea, and I have been trying, but whenever I take take two steps toward it, I take 4 steps back. I think I really need some counseling or something around this issue. Till this day, I cannot imagine myself going IN to the hospital, handing Micah over to the surgeons, and being able to wait in the waiting room while they perform this invasive procedure on my son, when I know he can be a perfectly successful thriving happy human being without it!!!!! Does anyone out there feel me? Why do I feel soo alone in this. Not even Rico agrees with me. But I understand his viewpoint too. Opportunities, the more we can provide for our children, the better. Right?