Monday, October 22, 2012

20 lbs DOWN!! Woot Woot!!!!

Okay so, I am down 20 lbs, and 2-3 pant sizes!  There are a few parts that play a big role in my weight loss journey:

  1. 10-30 minutes  a day of calisthenics (push ups, sit ups, etc.)
  2. 10-60 minutes a day of cardio
  3. Support of my friends on my fitness Facebook group called Fujitawellness- Bootycampers ( a group of people on the same journey as I am:) We motivate eachother and share information regarding fitness, health and nutrition. (TO DIE for paleo recipes!)
  4. MYFITNESSPAL.COM !!!
  5. Cellucor Super HD before my workouts
  6. Eating as clean as I can (cutting down on processed foods)
  7. Tons of water, 8 glasses a day at the very least!

This is me when I started the journey: 203 lbs

This is me about 10 weeks later at 183 lbs:

Chopped the hair off!
I have quite a way to go, BUT I have more energy, my knee hurts less, as well as my lower back! My middle is going waay down, and I have lost some boob (believe it or not lol) my bras are loose and I just invested a pretty penny in new bras, now I have to do it again!!! I am wearing a size 13/14 now, I was in a 16... My feet got a tad bit smaller, and my back rolls are waaaaay down too LOL.  I am loving this:) I feel better every day. My goal isnt a number though, I just want to keep going until I feel healthy!
OH and I havent touched a "social" cigarette for a month now:) LOVE LOVE LOVE all around:) This is gonna be gooooooooood:)

Just when I thought I was making some progress. And Cute video of Micah:)

One of the hardest parts of this journey, has been being able to accept the thought of the cochlear implant procedure on my son. It alone is enough to make me want to pass out as I have reflected on other posts.  Recently some friends got the cochlear implant for their daughter, and though I completely support and understand their decision for their child, I saw them at Children's hospital when I was there for an appointment, and I saw them on the day of their daughter's implant activation.  They were perfectly calm, and their daughter was fine, she had recovered really well
after surgery and was running around and happy and well
 just days after it. But  when I saw them, I talked to them, and was excited for them but as soon as I walked away, I had a panic attack. I was on the verge of tears and couldn't hold them back. Why does my heart break for these children, and more importantly, how am I going to be supportive of the decision for Micah, if I cant even handle someone else getting it? I thought I could open up more to the idea, and I have been trying, but whenever I take take two steps toward it, I take 4 steps back. I think I really need some counseling or something around this issue. Till this day, I cannot imagine myself going IN to the hospital, handing Micah over to the surgeons, and being able to wait in the waiting room while they perform this invasive procedure on my son, when I know he can be a perfectly successful thriving happy human being without it!!!!! Does anyone out there feel me? Why do I feel soo alone in this. Not even Rico agrees with me. But I understand his viewpoint too. Opportunities, the more we can provide for our children, the better. Right?

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Aural Habilitation Mondays

Micah began seeing Dr. Nancy Watson at Childrens the other week on Mondays.  He is learning to listen and make use of the limited sound he gets through his hearing aids.  I am noticing that he enjoys the sounds he gets, he no longer pulls on his hearing aids and he combines vocalization with sign. He loves Yo Gabba Gabba and singing/signing songs! Seriously, I am so rediculously crazy about this kid.

Every time we see Dr. Watson, she tells me I am her dream Mom and she is soo hapy I am Micahs Mom cause I already do soo many of the things she wants us to do. Somehow it came to me organically, I dont know, but I am grateful that I am doing it right!:) I am also happy that she is soo respectful fo our bilingual approach that she uses sign with him as well as speech.

As for ME (sometimes I forget there even is a ME) Moms, you feel me!!!


 I have definitely been isolating a bit and not talking to many people as I am focused on making these huge decisions and work, and just being a Mommy and Lola. Life is soo busy right now, and I am in place where I need to process and figure some things out.Some of my lovely friends get it, and I am soo thankful, but others dont and my heart tells me that they will come around when the time is right.



Our Journey - Micah & Cochlear Implants

Our Journey - Micah & Cochlear Implants - Continued

I have been working on a video blog of the cochlear implant decision process, and just Micah's day to day life.  I really suck at video editing, thank goodness my Brother is learning about film production and editing.. HELP ME RICKEY:)

Micah's signs are emerging!! It is soo exciting, he is signing Mom, eat, more, up, and want. He is also crawling at the speed of light and standing on things, also feeling comfortable enough to let go.


We are still no closer to deciding about the implant ( I am still not closer)! The other week we met up with other families from our ASL class, and one little girl was getting ready to get implanted on the 19th, I found myself apprehensive about it, and feeling sorry for the little girl. I observed my feelings.  I believe in her family's choice, but I found myself feeling like, I couldn't do that to Micah.  This instinctive protective natural reaction is how I feel about the implant all the time. 

Like I have to protect him from it. Protect him from all the hearing people that want him to change and be like them. When he is perfect just as he is!!

I am digging deeper into these feelings and trying to sort it all out.
I had a dream the other night that I packed and took him in the middle of the night, right before his scheduled surgery, I literally ran away from him to protect him from the surgery!

I am praying and praying for some clarity and that God helps me with this decision so that my emotions around the whole thing doesnt effect me knowing deep down what is best for him. I am still reaching out to Deaf people, to get more information. I still have soo many questions!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Weightloss Journey

SO I joined this group caled Botycampers, ran by my pal Jeni Fujita, who is life coach and fitness extraordinaire, not to mention, an amazing singer to boot.

Soo far, I have lost 12 lbs.   I am proud to say the weight is coming off consistently, and I am drinking atleast 8 8oz glasses of water, and getting some cardio and strength training in every day. I am trying to eat healthier, but I dont beat myself up over a few dark chocolate pieces. Heres my latest body pic.  I am at 187.5! My goal isnt really a number, but a feeling, the feeling of less knee pains, feeling good in my size 10 jeans. I want to see my facial bone structure again, and I am slowly getting there! It feels pretty bad-ass actually:)


THIS IS ME WITHOUT ANY SPANX, HEHE. TOOK SOME GUTS FOR ME TO TAKE THIS ONE:)
 
Coming from a person who felt like a total hottie at 200 lbs, well, confidence has never been an issue, health , however, has gotten worse as my weight went up, and I cant wait to get rid of all these aches and pains!!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Meeting another CI family

Today I am meeting a family with a 4 year old who was implanted- they Mother is Deaf, and the Father is hearing.

They use the bilingual approach with their child and she signs sometimes and speaks other times. I am looking forward to meeting them and hearing about the journey to their decision!

My last meeting scared me a bit. I met a family with a 10 year old boy who got two failed implants. Needless to say I left feeling like I would never get one for MIcah. Something about the way his ear was shaped caused issues with the implant. I need to know of these stories, this is real and can happen!!

They were implanted in CA. Not at Childrens hospital. The parents dont sign much.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Youtube created a Momster:)

video
Me singing my favorite song EVER Foolish Games.. More songs to come:) I love to sing:)

Quality of LIFE

To many hearing people I come across. the decision to get a cochlear implant seems obvious. To them.  When I express my feelings around the implant and my feelings against them. I am met with strong feelings about Micah's quality of life.

But. here's how I feel about my sons naturally beautiful birthright to be Deaf.

  • Why are hearing people soo sure that hearing sound is more quality than the visual world of the Deaf person?
  • My sons is a happy functioning baby, he has exposure to communication and language, SIGN language. Why is it soo important to speak and fit into the mainstream world of the hearing?
  • To those of you who dont understand why I quickly jump to the defense of how Deaf life is  fulfilling and is enough, remember I am Micah's advocate, his Mother, his biggest fan and his voice when he doesn't have one. If I wont fight for my son's rights who will?
  • I feel alone. I feel like no one understands my protective instincts. I need to meet other people like me. Why am I finding that soo many people who implant their children, do not sign with them, or educate them about Deaf cutlure and the beautiful community they were born into naturally?
Here is my message to Micah:

My dear, beautiful breathtaking son. You are absolutely beautiful the way that you. Your Dad and I have never seen such a happy  and gorgeous baby boy. Your sister and brothers are crazy about you, just they way you are now, today. Deaf.

You are such a lovebug with such a big personality. You are clear about your needs, and we are learning to communicate with you in your natural languages, touch, visually, and  ASL. We love your language and soo does the rest of the family. Because we love you and respect the cutlture and community you were already a part of the day you were born. Micah, you are Gods child, you don't need to "fit" intop anyone elses expectations of what a quality of life should be like, you ARE the quality of life.

My beautiful boy, I dont want to change anything about you at all. I will, however, give you opportunities if I feel they are something you might want to explore in life and have the option to choose or not to choose.

If we decide to get the implant, I need you to understand that it is only because we want you to have Opportunities. You do with themwhatever you choose. If someday we do get implants, we got them as a family, and if we choose not to get the implant, we make that decision as a family and we will all support you either way and we will always do everything we possibly can to meet all of your needs and give you ever bit of support that we can. We love you more then you will ever know. Whatever decision we do make, is one out of love, and this is definitely the hardest decison I have ever had to make in my lifetime. I love you Micah Jose Nahale Israel. You are my heart, and your smile is my world.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Bye Bye 9-5

Turning Over a New Leaf
Guess who is going to  once and for all, and work at home and be  with my boy?/ ME!
It is time for me to make this huge leap of faith and trust that God will provide and help me do this! I am terrified, but I am excited to be home with my sweet boy. I have had one bad experience after another at our child care, they are lovely people, but they are just not able to provide the special care, and give special attention to my Micah.

Lately, when I drop him off he screams and grabs onto me. It tells me he doesn't feel the same safety as he does at home. This is a huge blessing and a huge risk but I have faith it will turn out however it is meant to;)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Girls

You learn new things every day!

I finally went in for a bra fitting at Nordies... I didnt know you have to get butt friggin naked in front of your little dressing room helper, but the end result was amazing, I finally know my real bra size! I have been fitted before, but I dont think the other fittings were accurate, I still spill out of my bras and nursing bras, but after this fitting, I learned that

1)  My girls are much BIGGER than I thought!!
2) If your strap slips it doesnt mean your measurement is too big, it just means your cup size is oFF!
3) ELOMI bras are the best. Period. Even the nursing bras rock.

Now, I feel soo much more comfortable, it takes some digging to find Elomi bras that aren't over 70 bucks. I have already spent hundreds on new bras, so now I dig onlien for coupon codes and bra sales.

Today I ordered an Elomi strapless, I haven't been able to wear a strapless in years, we shall see if I am finally able to wear one in Vegas in a few weeks:)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

One Less Deaf Mentor

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, and came across this comment from a reader:

The comment is as follows:

I can only respond to this comment with my experience as a hearing person who learned ASL as an adult. I am an interpreter and a teacher. I teach deaf and hard of hearing children. I came to teaching in a much different way than most teachers of the deaf as I was an interpreter before I was a teacher and therefore my bias is that I have a cultural perspective on the Deaf Community rather than a pathological or deficit perspective.

When I see little kids with implants, even though I realize their parents have made that decision out of love and desire for their children to be the happiest and most successful thay can be, my heart hurts. It isn't a logical response but an emotional response. One lovely little deaf kid who will no longer be Deaf. A future member of the community - lost. A next generation of leadership, one for the current group of teens to mentor, no longer there. If your child with a (working) implant is actually bilingual and bicultural - bravo! This is unusual.

I know one challenge to youth programs I am involved in today is including deaf kids with CIs who do not sign fluently but are learning. How do we make the most of the precious time the ASL using deaf kids who can't hear at all have to actually socialize with complete freedom and ease as equals with their peers and yet still accommodate those kids who can't sign well enough to understand fluent ASL? The ASL using kids NEED time in an ASL envorinment for their own linguistic and cognitive development - they are all mainstreamed and have hearing parents so they don't get this opportunity very often. However, once the CI kids arrive, the number of kids using English-based signing and speech alone rises. This means the ASL using kids are once again (in the long list of times they are marginalized - home, school, everywhere they go) out of the loop and wondering what people are saying. This is a dilemma. No easy answers in a world where Deaf people are an increasingly tiny minority.

It brings me back to a message received from a friends brother0in-law who is also Deaf: Here is that message as well.

As a Deaf person, a professor of ASL/Deaf Culture, and an expert in the field of Deaf culture, I will advise her not to try CI. Yes, CIs could restore some hearing and some deaf children with CIs are able to speak. Parents need to remember that CIs do not make deaf children hearing and deaf children will still have to be trained to identify sounds before they could begin to learn Spoken English as their first language. CIs will not make deaf children proficient in Spoken English. You can see that CIs do not guarantee anything. I know that some deaf children with CIs still struggle with their social identity even if they are integrated into the mainstream world. Such struggles could lead to cognitive, emotional, and behavioral issues. Getting a CI requires an invasive surgery which is highly risky.

In addition to the attached document, being Deaf is not broken and perfectly normal. Many Deaf people like myself are living proof that we have a healthy and successful life and this is due to the fact that we acquire ASL at an early age. Studies have shown that once a child acquires ASL at an early age, the child will have no problem acquiring English as a second language. My friend, Trudy, who is profoundly Deaf and has never used Spoken English, owns a company (TS Writing) and has edited thousands of documents written by hearing clients. She is not an exception because there are many other Deaf people like her who share a similar background - acquired ASL at an early age.

If one is worried about having to deal with barriers then s/he shouldn't. We have laws that protect our civil rights and the public awareness is much improved. More and more people and places recognize and accept Deaf people, their language, and their culture. Yes, Deaf people will encounter a barrier at some point but it is no different from other people (women, blacks, native americans, and such) who face a similar barrier.

Parents need to remember that ASL and Deaf culture DO NOT isolate/separate Deaf people from their families and the mainstream world. I know many Deaf people are very close to their families, have hearing friends, and are well integrated into the mainstream world.

Lastly, the only difference between hearing and deaf is the way of receiving/expressing information - one is through ears/mouth and another is through eyes/hands.

Hope that helps. - From John Pirone

These are the things I am pondering on today.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Bi-Lingual AND Bi-Cultural Family (ASL and Spoken English)

When I bring up cochlear implants combined with ASL to other people in our circle of parents, I feel resistance when it comes to raising Micah to be bi-lingual and bi-cultural, but why?

If we DO get them cochlear implants, why can't we teach him speech and ASL?
Why can't he grow up to be part of both worlds?

Why do we have to choose, one, or the other?

It is very surprising to me.

I feel like it is up to us, to make sure he is immersed in both worlds, so he can be part of both communities both cultures.

I know this takes allot of work, ASL class and speech habilitation, but we are up for it.
If that is the route we choose.
We aren't looking for any easy route, we want what is best for Micah.
If that means double/triple the classes for us as well, so be it.

There isn't anything I wouldn't do to make sure Micah has exposure to both worlds and cultures so that he can thrive in both.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Our Journey - Micah & Cochlear Implants




Micah is 6 1/2 months old now.
He started daycare in February, and has been doing well.
The staff is lovely and very sweet to him.

Granted, he is a very chill and easy baby, they also seem genuinely interested in helping him thrive by learning to sign to him.
I am worried that he is not getting enough language exposure. I sign every chance I get, but I know he needs more.

We have also gone through several more appointments, more testing, and Micah got new hearing aids!

If only we would be more consistent with keeping them on him.. We should put them on him much more, but it isn't easy keeping them on him because he constantly rips them off, and fusses about them and pulls at his ears when they are on. I am still experimenting with different ways to keep them on. This weekend I will be sewing some new hat designs:)

I am still at the cross roads of one of the biggest decisions I will make in life.

COCHLEAR IMPLANTS

I have to admit, I have always leaned toward NOT getting them, but I had a feeling Rico was leaning toward wanting them for Micah.

We have been home with Micah because he has been severely sick with RSV, which gave us lots of time to discuss things like the implant, and finally Rico expressed his true feelings about them.

His thought is that Micah should be given as many opportunities as we can offer.
Including the opportunity to be part of both worlds, hearing and Deaf.
He says that since implantation at a young age is better for his development of spoken language, we should get it at the age the doctor's are recommending.
But that we make sure he understands that it is his choice. If he doesn't want to use them when he is older we will fully support his decisions.

I understand that giving him opportunities is important.
However I have still not gotten passed the feeling that the whole process is an invasion of who my son is, and what he was born to be, which is beautiful and needs no adjustment, fix or change.

I feel like life for him can be full of opportunity just the way he is.

The only factor that makes me consider the implant, is safety, and communication.
I think of my son, wanting to communicate with hearing children, and not
being able to.

I see him falling and not being able to call to me for help if I do not see him.

I think of him injured and hurt and unable to scream for help.
He may use other methods of communication, but because the "mainstream" society, will not know to look for these other signals, what if he is not heard????

As a mother, I want my child to be proud of who he is, in every way. But I want him to feel safe, and I want him to be able to make new friends without getting frustrated, or feeling alone.

So, I am still reaching out to other parents, and that has been super helpful. Some parents are doing what we want to do, be bilingual with speech and ASL, and others dropped ASL completely because the doctors emphasize the importance of using speech as much as possible with an implanted child.

We want to make sure Micah can communicate when sound is off, and we want him to feel comfortable sounding off at home, using ASL anytime he wants.

Still the decisions feels far, but our audiologist says we should start the process as if we were going for the implant, just to learn about it and get things rolling early, which will prepare us should we go for it, and also educate us about it.

I will keep my blog updated:)


Friday, March 2, 2012

Day 8 of Healthy Deliciousness


What was for dinner last night?
Amazing organic and wild caught Tilapia and mango salsa on whole wheat tortillas, sound gross? It sooo is not. Check it out.
Crazy good!

AND, I just signed up for a membership at Club Zum. It is a bit pricey, but after gettign totally ripped off at All Star, I am glad to have a gym that has modern high tech, low friction equipment, free training sessions and a 60 day challenge. I am a competitive person, so any challenge is going to light a fire under my booty:)

MY MEDIATION FOR TODAY:

It feels good to nourish myself, and my family, with good healthy food.

I AM NOURISHED BECAUSE I LOVE

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Day 7

It's been almost exactly one week since I went on this healthy foods kick. I will weight myself tonight to see if I am down from my last weigh in at a whopping 200 lbs! YEAH I said it. I didn't say it proud either. I am very very disappointed in letting my outer layer get this fluffy! lolI felt quite superb until, uh I would say pound 190.

Even though I am thankful that I can feel like a hottie with a naughty body at 190 lbs! It is not a good feeling on my bones, joints, back and hips.

Healthy eating, takes a bit of creativity, but I'm up for the challenge.

My shopping list last night looked like this:
Kale
Tilapia
Chicken Breast
Mango
Banana
Almond Yogurt
Tofutties
Organic Asparagus
Organic tomatoes
PB2 regular and chocolate peanut butter
Romaine Lettuce (MUST HAVE)
Flax Chocolate chunk muffins
Proscuitto
Lime
Wheat tortillas
and
Prawns

I'll see what I can come up with using these ingredients and post them over the next few days:)


Monday, February 27, 2012

New Outlook on Food - Making Delicious Healthy Choices


Who would have known how amazing healthy food can taste. Day 3 of my new lifstyle, was last Friday.

I made romaine lettuce boats with lemon garlic cubed steak, and sauteed red bell peppers, avocados and onions. (above)

TO DIE FOR! Full of flavor and sooo very filling!

Day 4, (breakfast, was a scrambled egg with spinach and some leftover cubed steak, and avocado.

Day 4 Dinner, We ordered pizza, I scooped the topping off of the bread and put them on top of a rice cake, cutting my caloric intake into half!

Day 5 Breakfast, (we ate out) I had to modify my order to make my Loco Moco less LOCO. I ordered it with scrambled egg white, no rice, and gravy on the side, with a cup of coffee. It was filing, and didn't leave me feeling full and sick like it usually does!

Day 5 Dinner,
Organic Italian Chicken sausage, with sauteed onions and orange bell peppers, in a romaine lettuce boat.

Day 5 LUNCH , I went down to our 10th floor cafe and grabbed 3 big green romain lettuce leaves, and filled each one with something different
  • Tuna salad and capers with a dab of dijon
  • Turkey salad with sauteed zucchini
  • smoked turkey cold cuts and small pieces of havarti (1/2 slice)
SOOO YUMMY!

Proud moment of note: I went to a birthday party and actually passed on the pizza and cake, and I didn't miss it. Yes I did pat myself on the back:)

Something within my core has changed, my attitude about food. Usually I deeply crave the greasy snacks packed with salt, the cake, the ice cream, the bubble tea and popcorn chicken. However, deep in my core, the cravings are just gone.

Sometimes the scale tells us more than what we weigh, it tells us how we view food, the world, money, and ourselves. If my weight is some reflection of how I feel about myself, then I had better make a change. I have always been confident, happy and full of energy. I feel my weight dragging me down. When I look in the mirror, I see a size 9- but my pants say 14.
My photos look like a different person! I need to eat healthy to bring me back, and let me shine:)
Lighter, more energy, and I think this goal has reprogrammed my thoughts around food.

I am fighting back! I am battling against chips, waving my sword at cakes, defeating fatty foods with wreckless abandon and calorie counters! By way of rice cakes and lettuce! Watch out fat, here comes defeat!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

New Leaf

In an effort to begin a new health regimen, I have been inspired by friends, like Jeni Fujita and Edgar P. and their photos of delicious HEALTHY food.

How many other people out there think of disgusting bitter greens, expensive grocery shopping (i.e. Whole Foods, for the good organic stuff) not to mention hwo difficult it is to think up a yummy meal with these ingredients that cost an arm and a leg. Well, time to get creative people, like a child in a 3rd grade cooking class.

It's not hard to do.

Wednesday was my first healthy experiment.
I made a ginger garlic spinach soup with chicken breast and a little rice, cost under 20.00, for a giant pot.

Today, I went to our closest cafe, grabbed two giant lettuce leaves, and stuffed each with some tuna, capers, a pickle, and a little bit of dijon. TO DIE FOR! (inspired by Edgar's lettuce "blunts")

I admit, it left me a little hungry, so maybe I would get three lettuce pieces next time.
Guilt free, creative gifts.

I think with a little child-like creativity, we can really create some delicious healthy snacks, without the expensive cookbooks, or diet plans, just with our own minds and with the intent of bringing love, and health to our bodies through natural delicious food.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Notice your impulse to "do," fix, and/or manage your discomfort.

Notice your breathing. (Is it shallow? Is it relaxed?)

After you've scrolled through once, go down the list again and zero in on the ones that brought up some emotional weather. Use your clearing journal to release some charge:

  • Is there something in your purse or wallet that doesn't need to be there? Yes, a ton of papers
  • Is there something in the backseat or trunk of your car that's been there longer than a week (that doesn't need to be there)? Nope
  • Are you wearing something right now that you don't love, doesn't flatter you, or doesn't fit perfectly (yes, including underwear)? YES!!!
  • Is there something in your closet that you haven't worn in over a year? OH YEAH
  • Is your sock drawer a jumble of pair-less orphans? Sort of
  • Do you have stuff in the fridge or freezer that is over six months old?
  • Is there food that hasn't been put away? Some cereal boxes stored on counter
  • Are there dishes that need to be washed? Or put away?
  • Is there something on the refrigerator door that is expired, aged beyond recognition, not even noticeable?
  • Is there something on the floor that belongs on a surface or in a drawer? Probably
  • Do you have a plant that could use a little pruning, or watering?
  • Are there lights on that are not being used?
  • Do you have to dodge something to get past the entryway to your home? Nope
  • Are you feeling pissed-off at a family member, partner, or roommate for not doing their part to keep things clear and tidy? Sometimes, but not right now.
  • Is there something you're doing right now that can wait? No
  • Is there something you can do right now that would be a better use of your time? Yes
  • Is there something you can do right now that better matches your energy level? YES, SLEEEEP:)
  • Are you feeling any twinges (even a hint) of overwhelm or anxiety as you scroll down this list?
  • Are your buttons getting pressed by these questions?

Clearing Journal

Complete these statements in your journal:
  • Right now I'm feelin: a little worried
  • Sensations I experienced while doing this exercise were: laughter, realization
  • The problem areas that made me go into self-judgment, blame, overwhelm: the part asking about family members. I feel like maybe one of my family members gets frustrated with my lack of time to organize things!
  • One thing from the list that I can address right now/ sometime today is: Organizing my purse and sock drawer:)
  • Right now I'm feeling... [note: this is a new minute, notice if you're feeling the same or different than you did the last time you checked] Fine

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Clearing My Home and Clearing My Life - Daily Om Course- Daily Reflections

Clearing Journal

  • Right now I am feeling…:
  • Overwhelmed
  • One thing I wasn't previously aware of before today….: How easily I can be pursuaded to make purchases I might not be sure about
  • It is easy for me practice being aware when: When I quiet my mind and silence my thoughts and just breathe
  • Monday, January 9, 2012

    Love

    After some very tumultuous relationships

    I look at my relationship with Rick and am soo grateful of how peaceful we are
    how in love we are
    how silly we are
    kind
    we
    are.

    We are passionate, gentle, and supportive.
    We love our kids.
    There is nothing I wouldn't trust him with and nothing I couldn't
    count on him to do.

    He is the best man I know.

    I love him, and I can honestly say I am looking forward to
    sharing his last name:)

    THANK GOD FOR YOU RICARDO ISRAEL!

    Monday, January 2, 2012

    Diagnosis- Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy

    Okay soo.... Micah was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a thickened heart muscle that makes his heart beat irregular.

    Because of this I dont know how safe it is for him to go under general anesthesia to have any surgeries. He needs to get some work done below his belly so we are waiting for more results and so Micah gets to wear a heart monitor every so often and the docs will decide if he can go under general anesthesia and if he needs meds......

    I can't even think of this and the risks it involves. I have to just enjoy each moment and not overthink this.  I have to be strong for Mikey...

    Here is some Wikipedia info:

    Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) is a primary disease of the myocardium (the muscle of the heart) in which a portion of the myocardium is hypertrophied (thickened) without any obvious cause.[1][2][3][4][5][6] It is perhaps best known as a leading cause of sudden cardiac death in young athletes.[7] The occurrence of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is a significant cause of sudden unexpected cardiac death in any age group and as a cause of disabling cardiac symptoms. Younger people are likely to have a more severe form of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.[citation needed]
    HCM is frequently asymptomatic until sudden cardiac death, and for this reason some suggest routinely screening certain populations for this disease.[8]
    A cardiomyopathy is a disease that affects the muscle of the heart. With HCM, the sarcomeres (contractile elements) in the heart increase in size, which results in the thickening of the heart muscle. In addition, the normal alignment of muscle cells is disrupted, a phenomenon known as myocardial disarray. HCM also causes disruptions of the electrical functions of the heart. HCM is most commonly due to a mutation in one of 9 sarcomeric genes that results in a mutated protein in the sarcomere, the primary component of the myocyte (the muscle cell of the heart).
    While most literature so far focuses on European, American, and Japanese populations, HCM appears in all racial groups. The prevalence of HCM is about 0.2% to 0.5% of the general population

    In children
    Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) is one of the most uncommon cardiac malformations encountered in pediatric cardiology. This attributed largely to the phenotypes is usually absent, incomplete, or delayed into adulthood. Most of current information pertaining HCM arises from studies in adult populations, and the implication of these observations for pediatric population is often uncertain.[71] Nonetheless, recent studies in pediatric cardiology have revealed that HCM accounts for 42% of childhood cardiomyopathies with an incidence report of 0.47/100,000 in children.[72] Further, in asymptomatic cases, sudden death is considered one of the most feared complications associated with the disease in select pediatric population. Consequently, the recommended practice is to start screening children of affected individuals throughout childhood to detect cardiac abnormalities at an early stage in hope to prevent further complication of the disease.[73]
    Generally, the diagnosis of HCM in a pediatric population is made during assessment for murmur, congestive heart failure, physical exhaustion, and genetic testing of children of affected individuals.[71] Specifically, echocardiogram (ECHO) has been used as a definitive noninvasive diagnostic tool in nearly all children. ECHO assesses cardiac ventricular size, wall thickness, systolic and diastolic function, and outflow obstruction. Thus, ECHO has been chosen as an ideal means to detect excessive wall thickening of cardiac muscle in HCM.[71]
    In HCM, treatment strategies aimed to reduce disease symptoms and lower the risk of sudden death.[74] Due to the heterogeneity of the disease, treatment is usually modified according to individual patients needs.[74] β-blockers improve left ventricular filling and relaxation and thereby improve symptoms. In some pediatric patients, β–blockers drugs (e.g. propranolol) were shown to effectively reduce the risk of sudden death.[74] Further, calcium channel blockers (verapamil) and antiarrhythmic drugs maybe used as an adjunct therapy to β-blockers in symptomatic children. Nonetheless, further testing is needed to determine their definitive benefits.[74]