Friday, March 25, 2011

a womb made warrior

oh you are mistaken littlest
of little ones
you will not grow to be
afraid of dark hallways and
shadows in the night
afraid of singing in front of crowds
or of being alone
you will not be left to
fight your greatest fights
face your deepest fears
a fragile glass like girl
with hope lost
in hopelessness
no no no
you will not
face a sunset
with the thoughts
the end.
You my girl, are not
doomed to be like him
you may have his eyes
his energy
and charm
and all of that

but I did not
grow you in my belly from
to a beautiful strong
astounding young
womb made
so that you can give up
like him
I will not allow the world
to assign that fate to you my love
you my dear
were made with
a special something something
that will help you fight

the greatest fight

live long days
and the longest of nights

until you kiss some
precious baby toes
with your weathered lips.
toes and fingers
of which your own blood runs

you will see many moons and many suns
you will face many dark places with
a heart of fire

My dear girl
you are stronger than
you will ever know or comprehend
and you will never have thoughts of
the end.

* I was in a class that mentioned the high percentage of suicide among children who lost a parent by the suicide. At first I panicked, worrying that Teihani might be at a higher risk for suicide! My heart raced for what felt like days, everytime I thought of it..
I quickly signed us up for counseling and the whole bit, when to my surprise our counselor quit us. She said we didn't need her, that we communicate so well, and in such a healthy way that she thought our sessions weren't needed.

I realized, I had assigned the unnecessary grief to my girl, the possibilities that she was an exception to, and that with God, and all the love and support of those around her, she will be just fine.

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